Getting Ready to Go Out

A short guide for parents and carers of children with ADHD

Transitions, time pressure and a dozen small steps all land on the parts of the brain that ADHD makes hardest to use.

Here is what I have found helps the families that I work with…

The night before

•   Set out clothes, shoes and bags together, so there's nothing to hunt for in the morning.

•   Pack the bag and put it by the door. Include a snack, water and anything comforting or occupying for the journey.

•   Preview tomorrow. Tell your child where you're going, who'll be there and roughly how long it will take. Knowing what's coming reduces anxiety and resistance.

Make time visible

Time is abstract for many children with ADHD, so show it rather than say it.

•   Use a visual timer or sand timer for "shoes on" or "teeth done".

•   Give early warnings: "We leave in 15 minutes, then 10, then 5." Or an exact time if that suits them better, or don’t like being ‘reminded or “nagged” as they may say.

•   Build in buffer time. Aim to be ready 10 to 15 minutes before you need to go, this saves loads of stress.

Break it into small steps

"Get ready" is too vague. Try a short picture or word checklist by the door or on the fridge:

1.    Toilet

2.    Clothes on

3.    Teeth and hair

4.    Shoes and coat

5.    Bag

Let your child tick off each step. One instruction at a time works better than a long list. Creating a list together is usually more likely to work.

Keep instructions simple

•   Get close and get their attention (eye contact, a gentle touch on the shoulder) before you speak.

•   Use short, calm, specific instructions: "Please put your shoes on" rather than "Why aren't you ready yet?"

Motivation that works

•   Praise effort immediately and specifically: "You got your coat on all by yourself, brilliant."

•   Try a "first, then" approach: "First shoes, then you can choose the music in the car."

•   Use a simple reward chart for getting ready on time but keep rewards small and quick.

•   Turn it into a game: beat the timer or race your own record.

Reduce distractions

•   Turn off screens and the TV well before it's time to start getting ready, may need that timer again, in case they’re engrossed in something.

•   Keep the getting-ready area calm and uncluttered.

•   If toys or games are a pull, agree they can be played with after you're ready.

When things go wrong

They will sometimes, and that's normal.

•   Stay calm. Your steady tone helps regulate theirs.

•   Remember it's usually "can't, not won't". Difficulty with transitions is part of ADHD, not defiance.

•   If a meltdown hits, pause, offer a drink or a hug, and reset rather than push through.

•   Afterwards, talk about what helped or what went wrong at a calm moment, and adjust the routine together.

A few extra tips

•   Keep the routine consistent. Predictability builds independence over time.

•   Involve your child in designing the checklist. Ownership boosts cooperation.

•   Look after yourself. Rushed, stressed mornings are hard on parents too. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Every child is different, so treat these as ideas to try rather than rules. Keep what works, drop what doesn't, and celebrate the small wins.



Timer available in resources at the bottom of the ‘how I work’ page.

Checklist available in printable routine cards